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Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Life and Death

This week featured 2 funerals, neither of which were expected.

The first, on Monday, was for a 40-ish man whom I didn't know well, with whom I interacted 8 yrs. ago, and whom I liked. He took his own life, in his house, with his wife and 2 teen daughters present. Mutual friends knew he was emotionally stressed, but no one knew to what degree. I attended the service on Monday afternoon and tried to process how one could be so low, with so many  friends and avenues of assistance available to him, and still chose to take his own life.

Initially I went into judgement: He had help available, he didn't ask for help, how selfish of him.

During the memorial I re-examined my previous thoughts. I realized that his pain was beyond my comprehension. I had no idea what was going on in his life, and thus, I had no "right" to judge. I  feel pain for his family; to his teenage daughters who lost their dad when they need him most, for his wife, who doesn't deserve to to be left with the mess, and now must figure out how to grieve and go on. What he did was so wrong, and yet some good will come of this. I don't see it, but I believe it.

The day that young man took his life, my friend died in her sleep. Which is the more cruel: Dying by one's own hand, or dying randomly.

Marge was petite in stature, and mighty in how she lead people. She was a mover and a shaker. Her daughters and husband can attest to that.

She died in her sleep from currently unknown reasons; her family, friends, clients are all reeling. Back in Decenber, when I had my last crown replaced, we scheduled lunch for today. We couldn't coordinate our schedules before then. We went to lunch at least 3  times a year; average.

That today was our scheduled lunch date and we were there to celebrate her life was a blow. I'm still trying to process  her passing.  Many are left with questions to which we have no answers.

And we wait...and mourn...

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